I really appreciate it when other people hold their boundaries, although it’s selfish of me.
I appreciate it because it makes it easier on me to have a relationship with them. When, for example, I understand that I can text someone knowing that they will respond when they’re available or ready, it gives me the freedom to communicate with them without the fear that I’m overstepping or that I might upset them.
It’s not easy to hold boundaries; sometimes I don’t even really understand where my boundaries are and it takes having someone cross them to show me. Similarly, sometimes I need space and I don’t realize it until I’m depleted and snapping at everyone.
This happens more often than I’d like with my kids and it has taught me that boundaries are not a thing to be set and done, they are a practice that evolves and changes.
Clear boundaries are a beautiful thing and help keep everyone happy. Boundaries allow us space and freedom to be ourselves, knowing we’re safe. Boundaries allow others to do the same.
What might be the dark side of clear boundaries?
Using boundaries to isolate oneself.
Creating boundaries when one needs instead to create connection.
Using boundaries to control oneself or other.
Keep healthy [boundaries], friends.